"Lyin' Eyes" -- Eagles

[otherwise titled Why I Hate Nathaniel Hawthorne]

Okay, well, maybe hate is too strong a word. I guess I don't hate Nathaniel Hawthorne. After all, I don't even know the dude. He's like totally dead. Has been for a while. Long enough so that his works have been revered and propagated throughout the world. I guess I don't exactly hate Nathaniel Hawthorne, but, rather, the fact that his works and their 'significance' have been shoved down our throats as students. Who's read The Scarlet Letter? Me. You. Your mom. Who's read Young Goodman Brown? Me. Maybe you. Possibly your mom. Who's read The House of Seven Gables? Okay, well, not me. I dropped that class like a hot freakin' potato. But that's not the point. The point is that Nathaniel Hawthorne's most propagated works, like The Scarlet Letter and Young Goodman Brown have bred the idea of symbolism. Now, now. Don't get your panties in a twist, I'm not completely dismissing the idea. But I am going to rail against it vehemently, so if you're going to get offended then stop reading now.

Why Symbolism Sucks My Ass


When I began writing my book, I nervously passed around copies of the first few chapters to my writing workshop classmates and teacher the first semester of grad school. During the class in which my text was reviewed and suggestions made, someone suggested that my use of light and dark in the descriptions within my story were great examples of symbolism.

I didn't know what to say. I try to refrain from cussing too much during class, so I took a moment to think of something other than, "Goddammit, Nathaniel Hawthorne!" to say.

"Well, I didn't intentionally try to use symbolism. Honestly, when I'm writing I just try to make it sound good. I try to get the images in my brain out onto the page," was what I said. What I wanted to say, besides the aforementioned denunciation, was, "I would never even think to do that kind of shit!"

So it got me to thinking. I'm pretty sure--and, mind you, this may be the direct result of forced-symbolism-learning practiced in our schools--that Nathaniel Hawthorne injected symbolism into every work that he produced. Light, dark, good, evil. Blah blah blah.

In freshmen English we read Lord of the Flies and were forced to explain the symbolism found within that book, and its significance. I made the teacher explain the 'symbolism' 'found' in several parts--repeatedly. I began thinking, then, before years of college and grad level theory, that maybe we were reading too much into this shit. Why can't stories just be stories? Why must we always be looking for the message within the message within the message? Why can't it just be simple? Why can't I just read The Scarlet Letter and not search for the symbolism found within the scene where Hester's daughter plays at the edge of the forest, within the shifting light and shade of the trees? Why can't I just read the damn book? Why do I have to pick it apart like a vulture on a carcass? And, for that matter, why the fuck can't the kids in Lord of the Flies just be fucking crazy and weird rather than opposing symbols of good and evil, hunter and hunted, weak and strong, et cetera? Why can't I just read things and take from them the things that mean something to me.

Well, I'll tell you why. Because if we all just did that, half the teachers in the country would be out of a job. We've gotta teach 'em something, even if it's bullshit. And before you start cluttering my comment box with threats and outraged messages, just think about this: why did Reverend Dimmesdale beat the shit out of himself for being the illegitimate father of Hester's daughter? 'Cause he's just like everybody else. Some people beat up on themselves on the inside. Some people pull their hair, some people pick their skin, some people cut themselves. We all have different ways of dealing with stress, depression, and guilt. If the story were happening today, we'd give him some anti-depressants and send him to a therapist. We'd encourage him to address his goddamn heart condition in a responsible medical manner. We'd tell Hester not to worry about her adultery, and let Pearl play with our kids.Most of us would, anyway.

But, then again, there are some of us who would claim moral superiority by quoting scripture and pointing fingers. So why all the symbols? Why pick it apart? Isn't the story good enough without dissecting it? What would Nathaniel Hawthorne say to all this? I don't really know. But I do know that reading too much into literature, art, music, personal interaction, messages, and the like will only result in confusion and irritation. But that's just me. Maybe you want to know all the symbols contained within these things. You go right ahead. But I'm going to sit over here and write my book sans symbolism and laugh at you when you try to dissect it. I'm going to finish my Master's Degree despite my terrible run-in with symbolism and theory, and when I cross that stage and flick my tassel over, I'll be thinking about how much I fucking hate Nathaniel Hawthorne.

{This one is for my sister, Hester, who doesn't give a fuck. Read it, britches!}