I still have tooth k. If you don't know, it's a baby jaw tooth that actually has no grown-up tooth under it. The filling in it broke so I went to the dentist, naively thinking they would fix it right up.
But they had other plans. They tried to send me to the fuckin wackjob dental surgeon down at Bardstown Road and Fegenbush to have it surgically removed and replaced with....wait for it...a fuckin screw in my head with a "tooth" smushed onto the top of it. Now, keep in mind this is the guy who tells you one price for an "extraction" bills the insurance DOUBLES the price then rips your gd tooth from your head with (probably) a pair of fuckin needlenose pliers. I digress...
The point of the story is this:
"Well, when they pull the tooth out they can keep it for you and you can give it to your Mom."
I know, right? I used blank face, because when you say it with a smile people think you're disturbed. "My Mom is dead."
"Oh."
Oh. What the fuck does oh mean?
"Your dad? You could give it to your dad."
Smile, more like a grimace at this point, dismissive mumbling. I left as quickly as humanly possible, taking the stairs fast like i was running them again.
Running stairs...now that's some sadistic fun.
They can't have this tooth okay. I went to an orthodontist who took a fucking skill saw to my face, no shit, so...No. Just no.
So I'm in the market for a new dentist. One who will patch it up and let me keep it for as long as I can. Hmu, dentist friends.
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