Beside You -- Toadies

I wrote a bunch of shit and I just wasn't feeling it so I scrapped it and began again. Because you can do that, at any time. Try something new. Make different choices.

I hope you can find hope if you've been struggling.

Words written by Todd Lewis:

I don't give many promises

And you don't really know me

If I could promise you just one thing

It's that you never be lonely

So walk around with your head held high

And I make it my wish tonight

I hope you'll never be lonely

I hope you'll never be lonely

Although I'm leaving, wherever I go

I'll always be closer than you know

So channel your voice and make it true

And I'll be right there beside you

I know it gets hard sometimes

When it comes to leaving

But you're never gonna leave my mind

I only hope you believe me

Although I'm leaving, wherever I go

I'll always be closer than you know

So sing out loud and make it true

And I'll be right there beside you

My wish tonight, I hope you'll never be lonely

Although I'm leaving, have no tears

I will always be right here

And you have a light that will shine through

And I'm right here beside you

I don't want to try to pretend to know how you feel, if you're suffering. I have suffered my own things in life, and still do. I no longer feel the deep dark depths of depression. I find it hard to force my mind back to those times when I felt such despair. I no longer seek to wallow in it. 

I don't know how to save you if you won't try to save yourself, too. 

Maybe I shouldn't try? It feels cruel to leave you all alone in the depths of your own despair. What am I to do? When all you seem to want to do is wallow? All I want to do is sing and dance in the light. Why won't you take it when I'm trying to share my light with YOU!?!?

I wish I could make it easier for you--ease the suffering that you endure! Oh, how much I wish it. 

I love the Toadies, they make me happy and I always sing along. 

But you've gotta save yourself, guys. 

I can't do it for you.  

Here's another song for you, I've shared it before:

written by: A. Kubiszewski, C. Hall, J. Sellers, JAMES ERIC SELLERS, M. Eliopulos, Marcus Eliopolus, Walter Flakus 

Stabbing Westward -- Save Yourself

I know your life is empty

And you hate to face the world alone

So you're searching for an angel

Someone who can make you whole

I cannot save you 

I can't even save myself

So just save yourself

(Save yourself)

I know that you've been damaged

Your soul has suffered such abuse

But I am not your savior

I am just as fucked as you

(I am just as fucked as you)

I cannot save you

I can't even save myself

So just save yourself

Please don't take pity on me

Please don't take pity on me

Please don't take pity on me 

Please don't take pity on me

My life has been a nightmare

My soul is fractured to the bone

If I must be lonely

I think I'd rather be alone

(I think I'd rather be alone) 

You cannot save me 

You can't even save yourself

I cannot save you

I can't even save myself

Save yourself

So just save yourself

I think that it's really important to note how the lyrics change at the end. I truly believe that you can be saved, but sometimes you absolutely have to do it yourself.

When I was deep in depression, I listened to a lot of different music for a lot of different reasons, but sometimes it was to wallow in the darkness, to wallow in the sadness of losing my mother. It was grief. I wallowed and I raged and I survived. 

I'm still here.