Sunday, April 23, 2017

Weak and Powerless -- a perfect circle

Oh how I wish I could tell you that this story has a happy ending. But I really don't think it does.

"Now I know why people have problems with you."

Oh.

Ouch.

I ran. No matter how hard I tried to pace myself, to stretch my stride, slow the rhythm of my feet pounding the sidewalk, my legs had their own agenda. A fast jog. Not quite a sprint. I ran until my legs felt like jello, as if they would collapse beneath me at any moment.

I love it. Hurtling myself forward through space.

Now I know why people have problems with you.

Yoga in the sunlight, bare feet in the grass. Why is it so difficult to move from one position to the next on one foot without falling over? I stare at the grass, trying to find the perfect stretch of my arms forward and one leg straight back. I haven't found a four leaf clover in quite some time.

"Now I know why people have problems with you."

Pounding footsteps. It's dark. The forest at night. Steady rain. Someone is following me, trying to be stealthy, cursing quietly as their feet slip in the wet leaves. I try not to make a sound. My heartbeat is all that I can hear as I hold my breath. A twig snaps behind me and I gasp awake, my body slick with sweat and alive with fear.

Now I know why people have problems with you.

The world moves around me. I sit motionless, staring. Thinking...

"Now I know why people have problems with you."