Okay soooo....update:
I'm good. Very good. You might even say that I'm fantastic! And happy! I have a new job, which is amazing. I am training to become an early childhood educator!!! So I get to work with babies (BABBIESSSS!!!) all day. This is what I needed. Last summer when we stayed with my brother and his family I loved having a baby around. I thought maybe I was starting to want another baby myself. (Which would be great!) But now that I'm here working with kids all day every day, I figured it out! THIS is what I was supposed to be doing with my life. Maybe another baby of my own isn't in the cards for me, but I'm certain that I would rather be here taking care of toddlers than anything else in the world. I am so content.
I told the ladies who interviewed me for the position that I mostly prefer the company of children to adults. I can be myself with children and I don't feel nervous or like I have to impress them. I can be silly and they love it! The hardest job I've ever had was being a server I think. I don't know how people can do it. Honestly I'd rather spend my days surrounded by children than any other job I've ever had.
I always thought about getting a job in child care but never really followed through. I guess the shit sandwich in a shit storm that was 2010 changed us all. And I have been moving toward this moment steadily. So, um, thanks, God. Thank you Mighty Cosmos Man. I may not understand your ways, but I can trust in your plan.
All the things I was dissatisfied with in my life I have been working to change. And I have. And I'm so grateful. I met someone to share my life with and be part of my family. My girls are healthy and happy and they are proud of me. Anna Lee says she's jealous that I get to play with babies all day (ha!).
My whole body hurts. But I'm okay with that. You never really know how out of shape you've gotten until you chase toddlers daily. My muscles would be sore after visiting with my siblings and carrying their kids, but, wow, I had forgotten what it was like having a baby. And having a whole classroom full of them is pleasantly exhausting.
*a car breaks down, a deal goes wrong, rumors fly, and the truth is revealed.*
I ALWAYS jump the gun. I come here, my digital journal per sé, and begin to document my life and my feelings. And then shit happens. Life moves faster than I can write it down. And then, before you know it, you pick up a child who's diaper feels soggy only to discover that it is so overfilled with diarrhea that it spills out all sides--top, bottom, front, and back.
Suddenly you realize that the shitstorm has just begun.
