Halleluja -- George Frideric Handel

In the nineties we had a snow and ice storm, and lost power at our house. When it finally came back on Mom sang the Halleluja chorus, and it went off again. It came back on, and once again, Mom sang, and off the power went again. This happened like three times before power was restored, and we were begging Mom not to sing it any more.

Well, we have weathered our own ice storm this week, bringing back that fond memory. But we didn't lose power, thank God, unlike a lot of unfortunate people out there. I stayed up half the night worrying if I'd have to prepare the fireplace for a warming fire when the ice came.

Jamie helped a homeless couple find some shelter the other day. he even bought them a few provisions before they went on their way, grateful that someone was willing to help, event if it was only a little bit.

Yesterday, as I was leaving the grocery store I saw a guy who needed a jump, so I gestured to him and pulled my car around to help. He attached the jumper cables, but only a dismal click sounded when he turned the key. His friend pulled in about that time and said that they would have to get a new battery, he guessed. I left the poor guy in the hands of his friend and said goodbye and good luck.

I tried helping. I really did. But it seems like I can't even help people effectively! Jamie was proud of me though, smiling and telling me I did the right thing.

I like to think that Mom would approve,  even though I didn't fix the problem, but I tried.

Dad said he had some refugees from the storm. The circumstances were quite different but the anecdote reminded me of my childhood. One night  a family was stranded on our road in a storm. Mom and Dad passed around warm dry towels and later helped them get on their way. I was young and don't remember all the details, but I remember being moved by that simple kindness.

After the 4+ inches of snow last weekend our neighbor got a car stuck in the edge of or yard. I tried helping, but only managed to sling mud all over my neighbor as she tried to push. It was comical really, two twenty-something women trying feebly to move a snowed-in SUV. But as soon as Jamie made it home from work, he rocked it til it came unstuck. Just like that.

Another guy slid into our yard on Monday. I peeked out of the gate to see. He was alone in his 96 Honda Civic, and stuck at the corner edge of the yard. Luckily he maneuvered around the yard and road enough to get out. But I had a brief moment where I thought I'd help him what little I could if he got stuck.

I look around and see my friends helping others too, and feel content in my place here. I may not be able  to fix everything, but I can always try to help.

"Nutshell" --Alice In Chains

As everyone knows, I can’t tell a short story to save my life; however, I am going to try. I mentioned before that Jamie went to the hospital. Turns out that he wasn’t the only one; the new baby got sick and went to the hospital for tests and treatment. I don’t know why it is that every time it rains it floods...


After Mom's experience and subsequent death, I freaked the fuck out when I started bleeding and hurting for seemingly no reason. [See earlier blog entry on Endometrial Cancer]. After a Saturday morning trip to the ER, during which they decided that my troubles must be caused by my kidney stones, and a Monday morning visit with my urologist, I had had (up to this point) lab work, an x-ray and a CT. When I received my test results, I was troubled. Yes, I did have some small kidney stones in both kidneys, and a UTI, but no, it wasn’t’ anything serious. Okay, that’s all good and everything, glad it’s nothing serious—but why the FUCK am I still in excruciating pain? Using a telephone directory with ads compiled by my daughter’s school, I found the number for a practice called Urogynecology Specialists. I called after hours and begged to get in. I was fortunate to get in the next day. After more tests, the specialists determined that I have ovarian cysts. Nothing that would require surgery at this time. But you know what? I think I would rather not have all that shit in there if it’s going to be that much trouble. I mean, I’m done. No more babies.

My best friend in the world and sister called me before Thanksgiving to tell me that her latest doctor had determined that she, indeed, has cervical cancer. They are going to do a procedure to remove the cancer cells. If that does not solve the problem, then they will perform a hysterectomy. If the doctors my mother had first visited had decided to any basic tests, like a CT, would she be here today? They had planned on doing a hysterectomy, but by the time they found it, the cancer had spread. The point is, if you’re hurting, truly hurting—in any way—then something is wrong and you need to talk to a professional person regarding your issues.

I know now why I hurt. I can tell one hurt from another, and know why it is the way that it is. I don’t have to like the pain, but I can deal with it. I know that it is not something life-threatening, so I can live with that. But I won’t stop going to the doctor to have regular—or more than regular—check ups. It is highly beneficial to listen to your body and recognize what is going on.

Okay, that’s it. In the biggest nutshell you’ve ever encountered.

A side note: Everyone should have the ability to go to the doctor. Please remember that the ER cannot turn you away if you truly need emergency medical attention. It’s the law.